--------- mar 21 2026
starting my day with a very thick smoothie and a morning bedtime read of Quakeland by Francesca Lia Block, which made me feel a bit melancholy. i'm trying to replace my morning scroll with something else, but i think the only helpful solution is to go outside as soon as i wake up. my house is not quite a basement — the main window is tall and starts at ground level — but not quite a regular height, either. it feels strange to be on the bottom floor with a proper house crushing you from above, almost into the ground. i wake up to a sunrise alarm that chirps the same bird noise over and over because i get no real sunlight in my bedroom. maybe when it starts to feel warmer i will brave going outside first thing and my circadian rhythm will be less confused.
today the rains stopped for the first time in over a week, and i expect everyone will be outside and grinning, high off the vitamin d. i just bought a bike last weekend and i can finally ride it, although i'm super out of shape and going up a single hill makes me feel like i'm actually fucking dying, and i still feel awkward on it, like i'm learning to ride again for the first time. i will go to the seawall and see how far my legs want to take me.
--------- mar 19 2026
new diary page ❤ this is for my loose, unstructured and mindless thoughts. i have been feeling pretty melancholy which might be due to the fact that it's a rainstorm where i live and i haven't seen the sun for damn near 4 days. this weekend i'm going to a going-away party, a western/cowboy party, and then a 1920s jazz club birthday, so i'm hoping my very unpredictable social streak makes an appearance so i'm not too burnt out from it all. lately i have been focusing on re-manifesting my magnetism.